Title of the Song
by Diva In The House
Summary: In which our good Dr. House exacts a bit of revenge on the evil Dr. Cuddy for imposing clinic duty on him...again. Mostly House/Cuddy with special guest appearances by Wilson and Kutner.


**Standard Disclaimers: I don't own House, Cuddy, or DaVinci's Notebook. Just having a little fun with them.**

**This idea was kicking around in my head after listening to this bit of silliness on my MP3 player. Would you really expect anything else from House? :)**

"HOUSE!!" The familiar bellow of a certain Dean of Medicine rings through the lobby of PPTH. It's 10 AM, I just walked in, and I'm already in trouble. Things are off to a great start.

"Good morning, my dearest Dean." My eyes gravitate downward. "You and the…girls are looking lovely as usual this morning…"

The comment garners the usual eyeroll and sigh of exasperation that I know and love. "No time for your foolishness this morning, House. No patient means…"

"Yes, yes, I know…my favorite thing…let me guess…."

"Clinic duty! Congratulations! You win! Your prize is in Exam Room One." She smiles sweetly and presses a file into my hand. Curses, I think to myself. Foiled again by the mighty Dr. Lisa Cuddy.

Four hours and 12 moronic patients later, I'm not-so-silently cursing my beloved Cuddles for inflicting this pain on me. The fact that Kutner was stuck in this hell with me was small comfort indeed. Four hours of watching him smile and joke his way through the parade of idiots that walked through the door did nothing to improve my mood. And here I thought Oliver Twist was on *my* side. Hmph. Just wait until I catch up with *him*. Cranberry juice on his shirt will be the least of his problems…but he'll have to wait. I have other business to attend to…

As I stride toward Cuddy's office, I'm feeling exceptionally bold. We're in a pretty good groove lately, clinic duty battles notwithstanding. The battle over my most recent patient (short version: I won, duh!) seems to have blown over, her home life has settled into a routine, so now seems the perfect time to…surprise her.

The plan is coming together in my head when I run into Wilson. Dammit. Not that I'm unhappy to see him, you understand. It's just that his timing sucks. I decide to go ahead with my little plan, Wilson be damned.

"Wilson?"

"House? What are you doing here? No patient means no reason to bother Cuddy…actually, it's a reason to *avoid* her…" Wilson's eyebrows scrunch in befuddlement.

"Ssh. Just watch and learn, Jimmy. Watch and learn."

I take a deep breath and swing open Cuddy's office door.

"Declaration of my feelings for you" I bellow in a ringing baritione. "Elaboration of those feelings."

Cuddy looks up from her paperwork, unsure of what's happening.

"Description of how long these feelings have existed, belief that no one else could feel the same as I…"

Wilson covers his face with his hands, Cuddy looks at me like I've lost my mind.

"Reminiscence of the pleasant times we've shared, and our relationship's perfection…Recounting of the steps that led to our love's dissolution…mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies…"

Wilson is shaking behind his hands, Cuddy stands and folds her arms in front of the girls. Way to block my view, Cuddles, I think to myself, but keep going.

"Penitent admission of wrongdoing, discovery of the depth of my affection, regret over the lateness of my epiphany…" Big finish, House, big finish!

I take one more deep breath and really belt it now.

"Title of the song…naïve expression of love! Reluctance to admit that you are gone…request to turn back time, and rectify my wrongs…repetition of the title of the song…"

I hear Wilson snort behind me, and a few titters from the nurses' station. Oh yeah, they'll be talking about this for weeks. Cuddy looks like she's ready to blow…her cheeks are flushing red, and she is giving me the death glare. This is going to be *good*.

"Acknowledgement that I acted foolishly, increasingly desperate pleas for your return, sorrow for my infidelity, vain hope that my sins are forgivable, appeal for one more opportunity…" Wincing slightly, I get down on my knees for effect, "Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response, prayers to my chosen diety…" Kutner and a few clinic patients are poking their heads around the corner now.

"Modulation and I hold a HIGH NOOOOOOOOOTE!!!!!!"

Wilson had to walk away, he couldn't hold his laughter in anymore. I'll have to make it up to him later. Kutner was rooted to his spot, stunned. The crowd of nurses, clinic patients, and personnel passing through starts to gather toward Cuddy's office.

By now Cuddy is standing directly in front of me. Arms folded over her chest, cheeks flushed with anger and embarrassment, those blue eyes boring a pair of holes directly into my brain. Holy *hell* she's stunning when she's angry.

"House!" she hisses. "In my office NOW." She steps out and addresses the crowd. "Show's over. Back to work, everyone!"

I bow to the departing crowd. "Thank you! I'll be here all week! Tip your waitresses!" Just then I feel a tug on my arm as Cuddy half-drags me into her office and slams the door. The death stare continues unabated.

"What, you didn't appreciate my serenade? I'd never do that for anyone but you…"

"Are you insane?! Wait, don't even bother answering that. What were you THINKING?!" Cuddy's expression softens slightly, her anger evaporating into a chuckle. "Okay, I admit, that was pretty good. You got me."

"Sooo…" I cock my head to the side and look her in the eye. "Dinner tonight?"

She plants a gentle peck on my cheek. "Of course. Eight o' clock work for you?"

"Sounds good, Cuddles."

"Oh, and House?"

"Yeah?"

"If you *ever* pull that sort of stunt again, I'll give you 10 extra hours of clinic duty and no action for a week. Are we clear?"

"Yes, dear."

**Read, enjoy, review. It's my first fanfic--be kind. :D**


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